It’s a fact that up to half of marriages can become sexless - but does a sexless marriage equate to a happy one? According to Davina McCall, it can. In an exclusive interview with Good Housekeeping, Davina shared her thoughts on the subject, explaining that no sex doesn’t have to mean no intimacy.
“I believe, having talked to lots of experts, that it can,” she says. “As long as both people want a sexless relationship. The problem is, is if you want a sexless relationship and the other person doesn't, then the other person is being asked to sacrifice something that they will miss and then potentially go and look for somewhere else. That won't work in the end.”
The key, she says, is ensuring that intimacy is still present. “You can have beautiful intimacy together without the act of sex itself,” Davina explains. “You can hug naked and both know that it's not going to lead to sex. I think sometimes people don't want to be touched or hugged naked because they think, 'Oh, then they're going to want to have sex with me.' That's when you're not in the same place.”
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Davina’s own relationship with partner Michael, she shared, has been tested recently following her health battle. Many will remember how, in November 2024, Davina announced that she was undergoing surgery to remove a benign brain tumour. A 14mm colloid cyst had been discovered during a full-body scan gifted to her by a medical clinic (in return for a menopause talk) and, despite being symptom-free, Davina was advised to have it removed.
While Michael has been Davina’s rock throughout, she opened up about the fact that they've had their challenges along the way, too. The pair are advocates of a ‘radical honesty’ in their relationship, and Davina says that was put into practice by Mi chael while living with a very forgetful Davina post-op.
“It’s exhausting looking after someone so vulnerable and needy,” she says. “At one point I thought his behaviour was a bit odd, but I couldn’t remember why it felt odd! I said to him, ‘Michael, I’ve noticed you don’t want to be around me much. If you feel differently about me, it’s fine, I understand.’
“He said, ‘It’s because you’re annoying at the moment,’ and I’ve never been so relieved to be told that I’m annoying. I knew I was, because I’d repeat the same questions over and over again. We both laughed hard at that.”
Now, with plenty of hard-won wisdom under her belt, Davina is turning her hand to helping others looking for love as the host of a major BBC dating show, Stranded on Honeymoon Island. The series sees 12 unlucky-in-love singles matched into couples, married and sent off to be stranded in the Philippines. ‘Stranded’ being the key word.
Never one not to get emotionally stuck in, Davina says there were "big heart-to-hearts" with the couples, citing the relationship advice she always falls back on. "Love is made up of four things: friendship, carnal love (you have to fancy them), trust and respect. Without one of those four things, love can’t flourish." Sage advice indeed.
Read the full interview in Good Housekeeping UK’s October issue, on sale from Thursday 28th August.
Birthing (HQ) by Davina McCall is out on Thursday 11th September. Stranded On Honeymoon Island is coming to BBC One and BBC iPlayer on Wednesday 3rd September at 9pm. Find Davina’s 5-Minute Move-It Challenge in the new issue of Good Housekeeping UK.
