There’s an idea of retirement that it's all about slowing down – physically and metaphorically. But think about it: if you are lucky enough to still have your health, these are golden years. Free from the grind of the 9-5 routine, and with no job or young-family responsibilities clogging up your week, you’re free to reinvent yourself, make new friends, discover new passions, have new adventures…
That’s certainly what this group of retirees is doing. All living in integrated retirement communities (IRCs), which enable independent living in a sociable environment with first-class facilities on site, they are – in their own words – living their best lives. Never mind Boomers, just call them Generation Joy.
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Shena
When Shena Davidson moved into Pannel Croft Village (ExtraCare) in Birmingham, she was recovering from six strokes that had left her without her speech or mobility. Over a decade on, she’s out of her wheelchair and leading the community choir.
This is such a beautiful place – I thank God for the person who came up with the idea for this community. There are so many wonderful things about it. I’ve met all kinds of beautiful people who’ve become my family – which is so important, because sometimes real families aren’t around.
After I had my strokes, I needed to find somewhere I could live with my disabilities, so when I was accepted by the village to live here, I was so happy. If I’d stayed where I was, I don’t think I would’ve survived because I would’ve been on my own, but being in Pannel Croft, I had lots of support from the staff and the people all around me.
My stroke left me with right-hand weakness and the gym here has helped so much – from the beginning, I’ve made sure I go regularly. It’s strengthened my muscles and helped me improve tremendously.
I get such peace of mind from knowing I’m not alone, and that there’s always someone around to come running if I need them.
There are amazing facilities, mostly under one roof. There’s a salon, gym, shops, craft room, a library where you can go to relax and read a book – so many things to make you feel comfortable.
There’s also a choir, which I run. I love to sing – it’s harder now but I still do it because it brings me, and the other members, so much joy. It’s helped a lot with my speaking, too. It started as a ‘life experience’ group – we’d meet and talk about our lives, we’d write together and share our stories – and the choir grew out of that. We’ve been going for 12 years now and some of the members say they’re so grateful to have something that fills their days and makes them smile.
I always say this is a wonderful place to live. Friendship, joy, happiness, laughter – all the things that you need to live a good life, we have them here.
Sandra and Graham
Sandra Holloway and Graham Leach both came to Hagley Road Retirement Village (ExtraCare), Birmingham, after losing their partners – but found love again with each other.
G: I moved into Hagley Road eight years ago because my uncle lives here (he’s 95!). Sandra used to come to all the social functions, as she had friends here, and we’d chat. Then she moved in three doors down. I was an electrician – there’s not much I can’t do around a house, so I offered to help her with anything that needed doing.
S: He was really helpful and did things like putting my blinds up. He asked if I’d like to go for a coffee and it went from there. That was four years ago now. I really didn’t think I’d meet anyone again, so it’s a really nice bonus.
We still have our independence and live in our own flats, but we see each other every day and get together in the evenings to watch a film together. We go on holiday, go to jazz nights and days out. We’re happier together.
G: I’m thankful I met her because she’s enriched my life and made me a better person. I’d be a bit lost without her, to be honest – I do things now I’d have never done otherwise. And I’d have never met her if I hadn’t been here, as I’m not a very good mixer – but here, it’s easy to make friends. That’s one of the best things about being here – the relationships and sense of community.
S: Yes, instead of sitting on my own like a good many of my friends who live in their own homes do, I’ve got lots of friends here to socialise with, older and younger. That’s really important because you need people in your life, especially as you get older. It keeps you young.
It’s made me feel really fit being here, too, because there’s so much to do: Zumba, keep-fit, yoga, a choir, karaoke, lovely shows.
Being retired is something that most people dread. I worked till I was 70, but now I absolutely love every minute of it. I’m living the best life and I think everyone should do it rather than staying in your house and being on your own.
G: Sandra and I have the same mentality, which is that you’re only here once so you’ve got to get as much out of it as you can. If you’re not going to put anything in, you’ll have a dull life – but we don’t. We have lots of fun!
David, Carole and June
David Hudson, Carole Hunt and June Grose live at Cedars (Retirement Villages) in Hertfordshire. They have been friends for over 50 years, having lived in the area most of their lives, and remain ‘besties’ as well as neighbours.
June: I moved in first, followed by Carole – she and I have been besties since our girls were three and they’re now 57!
David: I was the last of our friendship group to arrive, with my wife who's also called June [pictured far left]. I was the reluctant one. I couldn’t face moving to a retirement community, but I was persuaded. And it’s the best thing I ever did.
J: Every time I drive through the entrance gates, I feel so blessed to live here, with such lovely people. We have a lot of fun. We hold all sorts of events, and there are so many activities, too – canasta, Scrabble, bridge, exercise classes, croquet…
D: I’d never played before but now I’ve even bought a new mallet – and I’ve set the trend because now several other residents have bought them too!
Carole: You’re never lonely here because there’s always someone to talk to. The ballroom of the big old house has been made into a bistro so you can always go there for a coffee and find someone to chat to.
D: Whenever we leave our bungalow, we meet people we know, and our confidence has grown because we know we’re all in the same situation – we’re all getting old and we all help each other. We have friends who we sense would love to be here as they’re lonely, but they’ve left it too late. It emphasises to us how lucky we are.
C: It’s such peace of mind for our children too, because they know we’re happy and safe and looked after.
J: I feel sad when people say, ‘I couldn’t live there’. Until you do, you don’t know how marvellous it is. I’m ashamed to say when I came to visit, I looked around and thought, ‘They’re all so old!’. And of course they are – but now they’re just my friends.
Marilyn (and the Mayfield Belles)
Marilyn Sylvester bought her apartment at Mayfield Watford (Mayfield Villages) off-plan with her husband Malcolm, but he died shortly before moving in. She says the community has given her a new lease of life.
I was the first resident through the door at Mayfield when it opened two years ago, and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made. I moved because I didn’t want the responsibility of looking after my own home any more – plus I always went to the gym and swam, so that’s what tempted me. But I had no conception it would be like this.
I love everything about it. It’s very sociable and friendly, and the staff are too wonderful for words. 'Our general manager Nick is brilliant. We come up with all sorts of ideas and he always take the time to listen and tries to bring them to life – like the cheerleading squad, the Mayfield Belles. I started it after seeing a film, Poms, and I thought, ‘We could do that!’. We started with eight women but now everyone wants to join. It’s so funny because no one can remember the steps – we’re of a certain age, after all – but it’s been a real success.
Being here has given me back a sense of purpose. My husband and I had taken up ballroom and Latin dancing in our 50s and got completely hooked – it was our whole life. But he developed dementia and died before we moved here. So being here has been wonderful for me because I’ve made so many friends and I’m so busy all the time.
My daughter says it’s the gift that keeps on giving. She never has to worry about me because I’m totally safe, and there’s always something for me to do.
People say to me, ‘I’m not ready to move to a retirement community yet,’ but what aren't they ready for? Are they going to wait till they’re old and decrepit? It’s ridiculous. We may be in God’s waiting room, but we’re having a bloody good time while we’re waiting.
Pam
Pam Stone moved into Pears Court retirement living at Sandringham (Jewish Care) in Hertfordshire after she lost her partner and says she hasn’t looked back.
For me, not being lonely is the best thing about being here. That was my main reason for coming – I lost my partner and, while I’ve got a brother nearby, I don’t have children so I could feel quite low before. But here I’ve got instant company whenever I want it and I’m having a brilliant time.
We have terrific activities – there are exercise classes, a book club, knit & natter sessions. I play Rummikub and Scrabble, so my mind is really active. And we’ve got an activity manager who plans our week, so every day there are two or three things to join if you want to. There’s so much to do. I’ve made some really good friends here too – and those relationships are so good for your mental health.
There’s a peace of mind that comes from being surrounded by people, as well. We have 24-hour security and support, and if we don’t feel well or we fall, we’ve got alarms in our flats, so that’s very reassuring.
And it’s lovely being back in a Jewish environment. I’ve been out of that for nearly 40 years because my wife wasn’t Jewish, so to come back to that is wonderful. We have all the traditions like Friday night dinner together, and synagogue services on a Friday night and Saturday. There are even people here who still speak Yiddish – which my grandparents used to speak and which I haven’t heard for years! So it feels like being with family.
I am really busy but sometimes I might choose not to do anything at all, and that’s the real joy. I’m totally master of my own time – I can join in when I want and then sometimes, believe it or not, I want to be alone. I never used to like it but now I can choose to be.
I really feel like I’m on holiday every day and I feel so lucky to live here.
Julie
Julie Cracknell moved to Audley Sunningdale Park, Berkshire, with her partner Johnny to be free of the responsibility of running their own house, but it's the facilities and friends (and swimming pool!) that have really made it feel like home.
I think younger people have the wrong impression of what it’s like being older. My family ask me if I’m free to do something with them and I have to say, ‘Sorry, no, I’m going to the opera!’. Young people don’t realise we’re still busy and using our brains.
The best thing about living here is the community spirit and the relationships. You make friends very quickly. The kind of people you become friends with tend to like the same things you do, but everyone is very supportive of each other.
We have a lot of fun together, especially on a Friday night at our on-site cocktail bar. We have Happy Hour, then some people go on to the restaurant to carry on, and some people lag behind for another drink – like a lot of my friends. We live up a hill, which is good for us, but it has been known for one of the waiters to bring us back on a buggy if we’ve stayed out too late!
We have so many great facilities, too: a swimming pool (I'm a keen swimmer and very territorial about my pool!), spa, gym, bistro and restaurant, and acres and acres where you can walk around a lake or just go off into the wilderness and dodge the deer. We have Pilates and Tai Chi, which a lot of people had never tried before – so being here is definitely good for your health.
Another joy is the convenience. When you live in your own house, you’re responsible for fixing the roof, sweeping the terrace, taking the bins to the road, but here all those things are done for you, so it means you can enjoy life.
Finally, one really important element is the support here for those who’ve been widowed. The warmth and comfort that goes towards those people is wonderful. Everyone is very aware of the sadness they go through – you can’t distract them from their grieving, but you can at least show you’re there for them.
I have people say to me, ‘Am I too old to be there, or not old enough?’ but we have someone who’s just turned 60 and someone who’s nearly 100, so it’s all age groups who all mix together to make it more varied and we all look after each other. It keeps us young!
Janet
Janet moved into Great Alne Park (Inspired Villages), Warwickshire, with her husband Dennis three years ago. Janet credits the community with keeping her going when Dennis passed away last year
We didn’t retire until Dennis was 80, as we were farmers, so always busy and active. But there’s a point when you can’t do what you’ve always done and we didn’t want to just sit around and shrink. Moving here opened up a world of opportunities for us. There was so much to do, and we loved the beautiful setting, surrounded by land and forests.
When I lost Dennis so unexpectedly, I’d already made lots of friends, and really felt I needed that support. I never had to explain how I was feeling, because so many of them had been through it themselves.
I’ve now started a friendship group, not only for people like myself but many others who benefit from socialising. There’s a nervousness about making friends in later life but you have to walk through that door and try – and the more you try, the easier it gets. We were sitting having a drink together and laughing recently, and I thought, ‘Isn’t this lovely? I’m nearly 80 and I can have a hug whenever I want one. I’m living life to the fullest. Aren’t I a lucky girl?’.
Find out more about IRCs and arrange a visit at findmyirc.co.uk
